Dating in real life, of course, is better than online, less fantasies. Everything is visible almost immediately - whether it sticks together or not sticks together with a normal feeling of oneself and the other is clear from the first minutes.
Let's talk about dating sites. To tell the truth, for clients who have problems communicating with the opposite sex, I recommend them.
Ease is the key to success when meeting
Dating in real life, of course, is better than online, less fantasies. Everything is visible almost immediately - whether it sticks together or not sticks together with a normal feeling of oneself and the other is clear from the first minutes.
Women can also be the initiators of dating in life, but this is not in our mentality. Our young lady is used to sitting in the tower and waiting for the prince on horseback to jump to her.
Although there are simple and very feminine ways of dating ... But probably it needs to feel like a woman and be healed from injuries.
One must be able to withstand the gaze of another, be able to maintain a close distance, be able to speak first .... Oh, this opens up a wide scope for fears: from the fear of rejection to the fear of being a bad girl.
The game (and flirting and dating is a game) requires inner freedom and drive. If there are too many cockroaches in the head, the game will not turn on. And without it, it’s better not to start an acquaintance, anyway, fill up with your awkwardness and a sense of inappropriateness. Ease is the key to success when meeting.
In this sense, dating sites are a good solution for single people to avoid direct contact with another person. There is an opportunity to hide and hide in your mink by slamming the laptop lid if something goes wrong.
In addition, dating sites allow you to see how many single people of the opposite sex are. Often women complain that there are no free men (read, “I don’t see them in my environment”), dating sites open up a picture that there are many different men with varying degrees of freedom.
There is generally a choice, you just need to clearly understand who you are looking for and for what purpose. At the same time, it is advisable not to lie to yourself: if you declare that you want a serious relationship, but you yourself think that this is impossible with you or impossible on the site, then state what you believe in.
Some women are afraid of bad messages from not very adequate men. But here everything is like in life: they can say “no”, they can send, they can ... You never know what a person has on his mind.
As in life, the network has a filter: if you don't like it, don't communicate. If it is very painful from someone else's rudeness and rudeness, then this should be sorted out with a psychologist. In general, the question of the environment is a question of personal boundaries.
A dating site is an option, a very good option to feel, explore how the opposite sex works. True, if you go there with your line “all men need one thing” or “all women are mercantile”, then you will find exactly those there. Selective perception!
And if you kind of want a relationship, but are sure that the dating site will not give you anything, then you do not want a relationship. Your unconscious will not allow you to do this, and refusing the available ways to have them is just a form of resistance, not your beliefs.
Who wants, looks for opportunities, who does not want - reasons.
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet
In Tyura-Tam, I was delayed for an hour due to negotiations between Belyaev and Leonov with Brezhnev. Shortly before leaving for the airfield to meet new heroes of space, a group of chief designers and flight directors (Korolev, Keldysh, Tyulin, Rudenko, Pilyugin, Barmin, Kerimov and others) gathered in the "marshal's" dining room of the tenth site. Korolev proclaimed a toast to cooperation: “Friends! Before us is the moon. Let us all work together towards the great goal of the exploration of the moon. Remember how our team worked together? And then I heard V.P. Barmin, who was sitting next to me, quietly say: “We worked together when everyone was in charge ... And now there is one chief theorist and one chief designer ...” Yes. Vladimir Pavlovich is right: the former friendship between the members of the "space cooperation" is no longer there, and this is partly the fault of Korolev himself. He often makes rash decisions and is tyrannical in his relations with his assistants. Not without reason, local wits called him "Scorpion-4". The fact is that in the event of a threat to Baikonur from foreign agents, the General Staff immediately notifies the relevant services of the test site with coded signals. The code "Scorpio-1" means that foreigners are passing by rail in the area of the test site - they can track the direction of the operating radio stations and thereby determine the location and number of launch sites. The signal "Scorpion-2" means the flight of reconnaissance aircraft in civil aviation, "Scorpion-3" - other, more serious actions of foreign intelligence. According to any of these signals, life in Baikonur freezes for several minutes ... Korolev learned about Scorpio-4 three days ago and at the most inopportune moment. There were about two hours left before the launch of Voskhod-2, the preparation of the rocket, ship and crew went strictly according to the schedule, the situation at the start was calm. Perhaps that is why the prelaunch minutes seemed especially long to us. In order to somehow pass the time while waiting for the launch, Korolev, Barmin, Severin and I decided to discuss our plans for the future. The ensuing business conversation took place in a relaxed manner and was only occasionally interrupted by small pauses. And in one of these pauses, Severin, unexpectedly turning to Barmin with the question: “Do you know how they call Sergei Pavlovich at the training ground?” - began to talk about the "Scorpions" ... The reaction of the Queen was stormy. Blushing, he declared in a broken voice: “I have never been a fascist scorpion! "Scorpio-4" is a stupid invention of a narrow-minded person. I hope that my friends will not spread such vulgarities about me ... ” Having blurted out this tirade, Sergei Pavlovich moved away from us - an awkward silence ensued. Of course, G.I. Severin, who inadvertently offended his older friend, was most worried. Korolev treats Guy Ilyich with paternal kindness, highly appreciates his engineering talent and has high hopes for him. Needless to say, Severin joked very unsuccessfully then ...
“Whoever wants, looks for opportunities. Who does not want - looking for reasons. A very accurate and important statement.
Accurate, because it is, in essence, what it really is. A person who does not want to do something tries in every possible way to evade this activity. Comes up with 100 reasons why it “doesn’t work”. The one who wants is looking for opportunities and in the end, as a rule, finds them.
It is important to notice this “wishing and unwillingness” not only in other people, but also in ourselves.
Why is it important?
Because, we ourselves time. We bake quite often. No, of course, not everyone does this, but most people deceive themselves. And therein lies the problem.
And the problem is the following. If a person, for example, says that he wants to quit smoking, but does not quit, finding an excuse that supposedly everyone around him smokes, then this is self-deception.
If a person wanted to quit this bad habit, he would find a way to do it. And the fact that the environment does not allow, the weather today is not the same, and so on - this is just a cozy self-deception. In which it is very pleasant to hide and reassure yourself that you are not to blame, nothing can be done, you would be happy, but the circumstances ...
It is very important if you want to develop (in any area) to be able to notice the moments when you deceive yourself and look for reasons instead of opportunities. It may not be what you would like to do...
Here is such a small note on the topic of self-deception. Just remember and understand the phrase “Who wants - looking for opportunities. Those who do not want to look for reasons” can be very useful in order to adequately assess the situations that happen in your life. Both with you and with the participation of other people.
Perhaps, in continuation of the topic, you will also want to read an article on the topic of how to distinguish your true desires from those imposed. She .
Let's start with an example. You liked the girl. But it turns out that not only you or she already has a boyfriend. Of course, if the girl is pretty, you will show her signs of attention, make it clear that you are not indifferent to her, but you will not insist and achieve. Let her decide whether to leave her boyfriend or not, choose you or someone else. Like, it all depends on her. Everything is in her hands!
So that later, if anything (disliked, tired, found better), she didn’t blame you, because she decided everything herself, so you have nothing to do with it, let her blame herself! But unless you really like her, would you pay attention to whether she has someone??? You would seek her in every possible way, look for opportunities to meet, invite you on dates, take care of her, not paying attention to anything ...
Second example. You already have a girlfriend, you've been dating her for a long time, everything seems to be fine ... As they say, it's about getting married. But even here there is a problem ... You don’t have money to provide for your family, you don’t have housing, you are still too young and have not worked up, the economic crisis in the country, etc. If you want, then you can earn money, in addition to your main job, you can earn extra money taxi driver, waiter, loader, etc. There would be a desire! You can rent an apartment, and then you will earn your money together.
And if you don’t walk up, why do you need a girl? Walk while young, with a few. Do not burden yourself with a relationship with one! The excuse about the economic crisis is generally the pinnacle of the art of excuses. And if the crisis drags on for 40 years? Will you wait?
In short, if you love a girl, then naturally you want her to be with you always. If you come up with stupid excuses - she is not the one, YOUR ONLY! Do not torture her and do not suffer, and do not deceive yourself!
Example three. By hook or by crook, through your own fault or forcibly, but you got married. The question of having a child arises in itself. And here a variety of “arguments” come into play: let's live for ourselves for now (as if before that you lived for someone?); still young (this suggests that children should be born at an advanced age, somewhere over 60); there is not enough money for two (there is never enough money for anyone, regardless of the level of salary); the apartment is small, so we’ll earn money for a big one (when will it be? In how many years? 20? 30? Or more???).
If you reason like that, it means only one thing: you don't want this woman to give birth to your child, that's all. It would be your wish! Both young parents and not very rich families with small living space have desired children!
That is why the conclusion suggests itself: whoever wants - looks for opportunities, who does not want - reasons!
Maybe I'm wrong???
The most purposeful person is the one who really wants to go to the toilet: all obstacles seem insignificant, everything is insignificant for him, except for the goal. Agree, it’s funny to hear phrases like: “I peed because I didn’t have time to go to the toilet; because I was too tired; because I lost hope and no longer believed that I could run!”
And also "Well, of course, he ran, but his legs are so long!"; “This is clearly not for me”, “I knocked on the toilet, but they didn’t open it!”, “I didn’t have enough motivation” or “I decided to do it tomorrow ...”.
These are all phrases from the vocabulary of the Victim. Attention, the question is: are these your phrases? Do they help you achieve your goals?
A common situation in life: "I do not work, because the work itself does not want to come to me." Do you know this statement from people who justify their idleness by not wanting to look for a job?
It is more habitual to lie on sofas and make a suffering face of a victim of cruel circumstances.
People often make choices they don't want to admit to themselves, and as a psychological defense they cover them up with far-fetched, fake excuses.
"I was late because I wanted to sleep more. Well, I really wanted to sleep!" - with the subtext "I wanted to sleep so much that I had no strength to resist. It was objectively impossible."
People make up excuses for themselves - easy. It is easy to call your laziness to collect yourself and move forward an age crisis, it is easy to formulate your fear of building new relationships to yourself (and others) by the self-sufficiency of your nature, to justify intemperance by your character, and to explain your bad manners by your emotionality ...
Once invented excuses are so plausible that it is impossible to overturn them from the outside, only the person himself can admit to a lie. It happens differently when a person deceives himself for so long and successfully that it is already difficult to figure it out without outside help. Strong and responsible people in this case can act as educators. Sometimes this happens in psychological training.
At the training, the answer is clarified: "To be honest, I certainly wanted to sleep, but I myself decided that it was possible to be late. It was my choice. If I considered the matter very important, I would have got up on time and would not be late."
How to educate people so that they become the authors of their lives? The main thing is to teach people to be attentive to themselves so that they stop lying to themselves, covering up their real elections with false excuses and excuses. Further - to develop and strengthen the already emerged author's position.
If you are ready to work on yourself in order to develop your author's position, here are some recommendations: Keep your word. Keep your posture and smile. Get off the couch and look for ways out of the dead ends you created.
